Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
third nipple confirmed
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
