I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
