My liver just broke up with me...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
