My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
