And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
