Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
