nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
