Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
