i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
