Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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