what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
