who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
