How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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