i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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