JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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