They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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