just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You smell like stripper and shame
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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