Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
