Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
