Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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