When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
