Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
