Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
