literally had 100 drinks last night.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
