Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Are my feet made of real feet?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
