A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
