U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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