I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Swine flu is the new snow day.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
