Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
