i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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