she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
