she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
