I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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