anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
