lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
