Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
