Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
