the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
