Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
