there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
