You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
