i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
