when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
