More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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