It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
