I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
