I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
