people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
