And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
