Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
